
Will Rogers Quotes (1879 - 1935)
- The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
- The one that's out always looks the best.
- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
- You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
- Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
- Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Politics is applesauce.
- There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
- This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
- On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years,
no matter what it does.
- I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
- An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
- Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
- The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
- Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
- Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
- The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
- An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
- Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.
- Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
- Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
- I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
- We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
- The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.